Defying God
by MC-kun
Summary: Haruhi gives the members of the SOS Brigade a chance to become Brigade chief for a week, but only if they win in a cross dressing contest! Kyon is all fired up to win, and give Haruhi a taste of her own medicine!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya yada, yada, and all that other stuff.**

**Defying God: Chapter 1**

"Okay guys! Listen up! I have an announcement!" yelled an overly excited Haruhi Suzumiya. I put a hand to my face. The self proclaimed "Brigade chief" of the controversial "S.O.S. Brigade" was at it again.

I sigh. What am I supposed to do? If I argue with Haruhi she'll create a closed space, and possibly destroy the universe. If I just stayed quiet she'll get frustrated because she'd think I was ignoring her, create a closed space, and possibly destroy the universe. If there is a brain in your head then you probably noticed the pattern by now:

Do everything Haruhi says or she'll create a closed space, and possibly destroy the universe.

Mikuru stopped serving me tea to look nervously at Haruhi. "T-This isn't another outfit for me is it…Suzumiya san?"

Haruhi frowned. "No it's not, but thanks for reminding me Mikuru chan!" Asahina san squealed.

"What we are doing is a cross dressing contest!" Haruhi shrieked.

I sigh. Why the hell would I want to do that? Of course a certain esper thought it was the greatest idea since sliced bread.

"What a marvellous idea Suzumiya san!" approved Koizumi, who got a nod from Haruhi.

Nagato merely looked up once and returned to her book again. As I looked closer I could have sworn I saw interest in her eyes. So Nagato was interested in cross dressing, hmm I better keep that in mind.

"Oh! I almost forgot! Did I mention the price is you can be brigade leader for a week?" said Haruhi in a sing song voice.

My eyes practically shot out of my eyes. The other's had similar reactions; even Nagato was all ears now. "A week, are you serious?"This better not be some kind of prank!

Haruhi nodded. "I'm always serious!" Yeah I know, but I just couldn't believe my ears!

"Are there any objections?" For once I didn't object. If I did Haruhi would have ignored me anyways…

"Okay! You have this weekend to prepare, and you better not even think about spying on me!" Haruhi shot me a glare as if she already caught me red handed. "I want my outfit to be a surprise…got that Kyon?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

After Haruhi's big announcement, peace returned to the clubroom once again. Nagato returned to her book, Asahina san was tidying up the room, Koizumi and I were playing checkers, and Haruhi surfed the internet.

After twenty minutes, Haruhi decided to let us go early because she needed to prepare for the contest. A chance to be brigade chief for a week, and an early dismissal, this was probably the best day of my life! Pitiful, I know.

As I began to leave, Koizumi put a hand on my shoulder. "Kyon, can I talk to you outside?" he asked, flashing me a plastic smile. I reluctantly agreed. This better be worth my time.

We walked up to the rooftop, and Koizumi handed me a drink he bought on the way here. After making sure he didn't put any knock out drugs in there, I sipped it. It was lime flavour, gross…

"What's on your mind Koizumi, something about you know who?" I said not out of concern, but because I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.

"Yes it does concern Suzumiya san…or most accurately, the cosplaying contest next week" said Koizumi grinning at me like a perverted old man. I backed away a bit, he was way too close.

"What about it." Just get to the point damn it, I want to go home!

"Well…in the unlikely chance that you actually win, and become brigade chief, please don't let the power get the better of you, and upset Suzumiya san."

Oh I get it, if I start acting like a jerk then Haruhi…wait a second! Did he just say 'unlikely event that I actually win'?

I crossed my arms. "What do you mean by 'unlikely'" I said, pouting my lips. Now I was beginning to look like Haruhi. I shivered at that scary thought.

Koizumi blinked. "No, I just meant that Suzumiya san will obviously win…"

I shook my head. "Well, this time she's not going to have it her way!" I yelled, and I was delighted by the shocked look on Koizumi's face.

Koizumi just smirked. "Very well, but please don't forget my warning." After that he left me alone.

At this point I couldn't even hear the esper or notice him leave. I will definitely win, and when I do, I will make sure Haruhi gets a taste of her own medicine!

From this day on…I Kyon will defy God, and take her title!

**Yay! My first Haruhi story that isn't a one shot! I still don't know how many chapters I will write though…anyways…please review! Your opinions are very valuable to me!**

**Cheers!**

**-MC Kun**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own The melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, they wouldn't even let me have Shamisen…**

I went to school the next week feeling exhausted. The whole weekend I was preoccupied with appointments that I don't even remember making. Apparently my cousin was going to get married on Saturday, and on Sunday my whole family decided to visit my grandparents. Coincidence? I think not. I bet a certain brunette, really doesn't want me to win this cross dressing contest.

Despite all that I still managed to get a part of my outfit done. I had a wig, and a little bit of makeup, now I need are some clothes. This is the troubling part, I'm at school right now, and who in the right mind would give their clothes to someone of the opposite sex? Of course Haruhi would fit the description, but obviously she doesn't want any competition so that's a big no, no.

Asahina san came to mind, but I realised that the erm…chest part wouldn't really fit me. I thought of Tsuruya san when I considered Mikuru, but when I approached her she was already talking to Haruhi. I was easily able to tell what they were talking about because of my expert lip reading skills.

"Okay Haruhi nyan~! I won't help Kyon Kyun in any way Nyoro~!"

Okay, so maybe the lip reading skills weren't necessary.

Then the thought hit me. Damn why didn't I think about it before! She saved my life from a psychopathic killer, and helped me with a giant cave cricket. Surely she can get me out of this predicament!

I slam the clubroom open. "Nagato, can you take of your uniform for me?" You know so I can wear it for the contest.

The soft spoken resident alien of the SOS Brigade sat there wide eyed. Did I see…a blush?

Suddenly I noticed the murmurs around me. I looked behind and saw people talking and pointing at me. Oh crap, maybe I shouldn't have said it that loud. Haruhi must have ruined my judgement skills or something. Maybe her craziness rubbed off on me.

Nagato stared at me, a soft pink colour on her cheeks. "Why me" she whispered.

Why her? Oh, maybe she thought that I should have asked someone else, but I already asked every girl I knew. "No one else can do Nagato…I only want you." Well, you're uniform that is.

Her blush got a shade redder. "I understand, actually… I want you too." Oh? She needs my uniform as well? Well I guess it's a win, win situation. Nagato began to strip so I turned away, and took of my uniform as well. Nagato's uniform was on the ground so I took it, and wore it. It was already the end of classes so I guess I could wear it in the clubroom. When I turned around I saw that Nagato was naked. What the hell? Why didn't she wear my clothes? What worried me more was the plastic looking thingy in her hand. It looked like a cond…

Before I could finish that thought, a look of realisation came over Nagato's face. She hurriedly put on my uniform, and hid the…whatever she was hiding. I realised a look of disappointment on Nagato's face. What was she expecting something else? I noticed that I was blushing, probably from seeing Nagato naked. Man, what a pervert I am.

Now that I got my girl's uniform, I put on the wig, and some makeup. The wig was the same hair colour as my hair, and it reached up to my back. Just to experiment I tied the wig to a ponytail. My face kind of looked like a girl with all the makeup, so aside from my height I actually looked like a chick. I swung my pony tail around, a hot chick at that. Oh god, I need to stop this is getting creepy, I was actually turning myself on.

I looked over at Nagato. I was a lot taller than the short statured Nagato so my clothes were really baggy on her. I don't think her chances of winning are high, but seeing her wear my clothes actually excited me. I put a hand over my face. Damn my teenage hormones.

After awhile, Koizumi, and Asahina san finally came. Koizumi came in, and gave me his usual fake smile. Like me, he wore a wig that fit his original hair colour. He also wore a yellow summer dress with a pink cardigan. Unlike me he was very well endowed (balloons). I looked at my own chest. Flat.

"Well, well I must say that you look very lovely Miss Kyon." He smiled, and this time I sensed that it wasn't forced. That creepy bastard.

My eyes then hovered to Asahina san. I must admit, she did a very good job. If I look at her face with only one glance, I would have really believed that she was a guy. However, when my eyes hover a bit lower…yeah I think 'those' are going to cost her valuable points.

While we were waiting for Haruhi, Koizumi and I played chess. It was pretty quiet for awhile, but eventually Koizumi broke the silence.

"I managed to catch a glance of Suzumiya san's outfit, and she told me not to tell you anything, but if you manage to beat me maybe I'll tell."

I eyed him suspiciously. "Alright I accept." Strange, Koizumi is being weird all of a sudden. He stares at me more frequently than usual too. Oh, stop it Itsuki Kun you're making me blush…hell no.

It was a close match, but Koizumi managed to win. Hey I'm telling the story so it's a close match alright?

"Nice try Miss Kyon, but it seems that I won." Stop it with the 'Miss Kyon' crap, you creeper.

"However, I might give you a hint if you let me call you Kyonko."

What the hell? So even if in some parallel universe where we are all gender bended, I am still stuck with that lousy nickname?

"Fine what's the hint?" I asked, and Koizumi smiled.

"It will be a 'big surprise'" he said winking at me. What the hell? You tricked me!

"A deal's a deal…Miss Kyonko" said Koizumi with a mischievous smile.

Oh I'm going to get that bastard. Right when I was about to wring his neck, the door slammed open.

"Hey guys sorry I took so long!" it was Haruhi, so she finally showed up? I noticed that she wore her brigade chief armband. Wear it while you still can Haruhi, soon that's going to be mine! Wow, I sounded like a cheesy villain when I said that, Dr. Evil almost.

It was then that I noticed the 'big surprise' Koizumi was talking about. It was so big that I don't know how I couldn't have noticed it earlier.

Oh my god, that is big, and it was sticking out of her pants.

"HARUHI! YOU HAVE A GIANT PEN…"

**THE END!**


	3. Chapter 3

What words can I use to describe the monstrosity in front of me? Shocking, inappropriate, disturbing? All I could do was utter this desperate sentence.

"Oh my god, Haruhi, why do you have a pen15?" The thought of Haruhi growing something that could only be found on the male anatomy doesn't sound impossible. In fact I was almost convinced that Haruhi's powers activated because of her strong will to win this contest.

That thing better be fake Haruhi!

"Of course it's fake you idiot. What do you think I'd grow a d!ck over night?"

Yeah, you would.

"No you wouldn't Suzumiya san" said Koizumi who was trying not to stare at Haruhi's…well disco stick. Wow talk about a bad Lady Gaga reference.

After a unanimous decision, we came to the conclusion that Haruhi would have to be disqualified from the competition for being too…inappropriate. I was surprised that Koizumi actually had the balls to go against his "god".

"I'm just afraid that if Suzumiya san gets too used to it that she'd actually…well grow a pens."

What the hell? What happened to Haruhi being a realist? What happened to her so called common sense?

"I was just joking of course" said that smiling bastard. Damn him.

Okay, so the competition was a complete train wreck. Koizumi's boobs popped (Haruhi, out of frustration, threw the pencil that was in her pants and it somehow popped both balloons), Asahina san was obviously eliminated because of her…obviously not male chest, and Nagato didn't even try acting like a guy. By process of elimination that leaves only me. Yay, I won the contest…

Somehow this doesn't feel very satisfying. When I took a look at Haruhi's face though…

…well let's just say it was worth it in the end.

Oh, by the way, my first order as brigade leader?

We were in our usual meeting place, about to start our mystery searches; well most of us were there. Annoying esper? Check. The ever lovely Asahina san? Check. The quiet, and reclusive resident alien of the SOS Brigade? Check. I was obviously here, so where was Ms. Haruhi Suzumiya san?

As if on cue, Haruhi showed up panting and trying to catch her breath. She didn't look any of us in the eyes when she said these magic words.

"Sorry I'm late."

Yes! Oh, yes! The so called 'source for auto evolution', 'anomaly in time', and maybe even 'god', was sorry, and why was she sorry? She was late! Haruhi Suzumiya was late!

"Well, you are forgiven Haruhi, but you do know that there is a penalty for tardiness right?"

Haruhi flinched. "Yes…Kyon sama." Nice touch with the sama right?

I could tell that Haruhi was burning with rage, but she didn't show it. I knew her better than she knows though. Perhaps I knew her better than anyone? I wonder if it was really Haruhi who chose me? What if I was the one who chose her? What the hell am I thinking?

After we got our drinks (paid for by Haruhi) I made my announcement for the meeting.

"Everyone gets a break; there is no city search today!" Yup, the reason why I wanted to be Brigade chief was only so I could have a break.

"…well of course that excludes the lowest ranked member of the brigade." Are you catching my drift Haruhi?

"…yes…" Haruhi weakly muttered. Oh, I can get used to this.

I then started talking about things that we could do during our break, like doing nothing, sleeping, taking naps, doing nothing. Did I mention doing nothing? 

"Are you recording all of this Haruhi?" I said thinking up of a punishment if she wasn't taking notes.

No response.

"Haruhi?"

Again no response.

"Suzumiya san left…obviously she didn't want her brigade members seeing her…cry" said Koizumi and this time he wasn't smiling. In fact he looked furious.

What the hell? Haruhi was crying?

"I think you better fix things Kyon, before the situation gets ugly."

Damn it!

"P-please hurry Kyon! My superiors are warning me of a time quake starting to act up." That was Asahina san, and she had a uncharacteristic look on her face. She was serious.

I looked over to Nagato, and she instantly knew what I wanted. "Suzumiya Haruhi is at the park…"

I didn't need to hear the rest. I took my sweater and chased after Haruhi.

It didn't take long to find her. She was sitting at the bench where I met Nagato that fateful night, and where Asahina san revealed her true identity to me. Man, there were a lot of memories made on this bench, and now I'm about to make another one.

I approached Haruhi and when she saw me I could tell that she didn't want to talk. The glare she was giving off was a dead giveaway.

"Haruhi, why did you run off like that?" I said cautiously while thinking up off what to say next.

Haruhi pouted and looked away. "Well I wanted to start my solo search for the super natural by myself. I don't need any of you to find the mysteries of this world by myself."

I sighed. Even though she says that I could tell she was close to tears. I'm such a jerk.

I take a hold of her hand and started heading to a random direction.

"What are you doing Kyon?"

"What else? We are looking for the supernatural."

Haruhi's eyes widened. "We? You're brigade leader now you know? You can…"

"Haruhi what kind of brigade leader would I be if I let my subordinates go alone?"

"but…"

"Haruhi just shut up, that's an order!"

There was silence for a while and I started to get worried.

"Um…Haruhi?" It was just for an instant but I saw a small smile forming on her lips.

"I guess I can't go against an order from the brigade chief."

"I guess you can't"

Then like a clichéd flick chick, we walked off to the sunset, hand in hand.

"Kyon…"

"Yeah?"

"When this week is over I'm going to make you pay."

"Yeah I know Haruhi."

"…and Kyon?"

I turned to the right to stare at her amber eyes. I saw my reflection in them and I felt trapped in those tiny golden marbles.

"Yeah what is it?"

"I'm going to make you pay so bad."

"You already said that."

"I know"

I can never understand you Haruhi, if I did that would be a cold day in hell.

"Shut up Kyon."

This week was my fateful revolution, the start of my rebellion with God. I became God himself, or herself, but to be honest it was really overrated. It was too much work…

…but I can have my fun for a week right?

**The End**

**I feel like ending the series like this. To be honest I'm finding it hard to come up with ideas for this story and with school coming in the next few weeks I'm going to have a hard time finding time to work on this, besides I am also working on another series too. If you guys want some more of this story then please go ahead and tell me via reviews. If enough people want more then I will definitely continue to write.**

**Cheers!**

**-MC Kun **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, or its characters. If I did no one would watch it.**

"Hey Haruhi" I said nonchalantly, ignoring the stares around us.

"Hi…" she muttered, wearing a scowl on her face. Did her face develop a permanent scowl or something? Well that's what you get if you're always angry Haruhi.

I stood up from the bench I was sitting on for the past ten minutes.

"Well then, shall we go?"

Haruhi looked away for a second, a pink flush creeping up her cheeks.

"Yeah…let's go"

Okay, I know what you guys are thinking. What the hell? How did this happen? Are they on a date? Well, I can assure you that's it's not a date, well at least I think so. Well I guess for all this to make sense I need to go back in time a little…

…and I am in no way implying that I am a time traveller.

Just a few days ago, after I chased after Haruhi and met her in the park, my position as brigade chief officially started. Now, knowing me I bet you already figured out what I had in plan.

I'll give you three options and you have one guess:

The club made a light novel series that tells of the exploits of a beautiful teenage girl with reality warping powers, and her club which consists of an alien, a time traveller, an esper, and a super awesome normal guy who narrates the story.

I made love with all of the brigade members, excluding Itsuki ( I dislike yaoi…or Koizumi whichever one doesn't make a difference)

We did absolutely nothing.

The third option was the correct choice. Okay…so I wanted to do the first one at first, but a little thing called common sense stopped me from doing so.

Aha, I found something I have that the multitalented Haruhi doesn't have. Well of course if she did posses common sense my life would be a lot less…hellish.

Anyways, back to the story. For two days straight, the SOS Brigade did nothing, and I mean nothing! No mystery searches, no searches for…mystery, and not even the after school meetings that we would attend to talk about our…mystery searches.

Wow this club doesn't have much variety.

As the days went by, I've noticed that there was something out of beat about Haruhi. Hey, even if I don't always look like it, I really care about Haruhi and her well being. I noticed that there was something wrong the first time I saw her that day…

…okay that was total bull, Koizumi told me all about it.

"The lack for any club activities is really frustrating Suzumiya san" he said, a little too closely if I may add.

I looked at Nagato and she gave me a slight nod. Asahina san seemed to agree as well.

"It would be very beneficial if we have at least one search around the city" said Koizumi as if he knows everything that involves Haruhi…

…well it was his job after all.

I sighed. "I get it you want me to fall to her selfish desires so that our little shinjin friends don't appear?"

Koizumi gave me his trademark smile, man maybe I can just order him to stop smiling all the time or something. I am the brigade leader right?

"Well it seems that you get it Kyon" said Koizumi, this time not wearing a smile. Man this week is going to be a blast!

I face palmed with the sudden realisation that once again I contorted to Haruhi's desires. Even as brigade chief I have to follow her selfish whims?

Damn her, a penalty awaits her. A penalty I tell you!

Wow, I guess it's true that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

So here I am with Haruhi, on our 'mystery search'.

Where are my fateful comrades you ask?

"U-uh I am very busy…um…good bye!"

"It seems that I am very busy that day…a very distant relative is getting married tomorrow. I bid you good luck on your search for the mysteries of this world."

"Library book, late"

I assume you have a brain in your head to figure out who said what. If not let me make it clear. The cute stuttering one was Asahina san, the obviously fake one was Itsuki, and the blunt one was obviously Nagato.

Now that you are enlightened, let us continue the story.

So here I am walking down a crowded street with Haruhi. Many guys would do anything for a chance to be alone with the talented and not to mention…slightly…attractive Haruhi Suzumiya but they don't get it…

…underneath that pretty face is pure, dark, evil!

"Kyon! What the hell are you muttering! You better pay attention to our search, this is not a date you know!"

I sighed, see what I mean.

I realised something important and my eyes perked up. Before I would have taken her insults because of my lowly stature in the club but now…

I gently whack her on the head. "Kyon what the hell was that for?" she retaliated, spitting on my face.

"Well, henchman number five may I remind you of what your purpose is?"

Haruhi was about to retaliate but she instantly remembered the situation she was in.

"Yes, Kyon sama"

"Please recite the whole thing subordinate"

"Yes, Kyon sama. My very existence is for the purpose of serving the incredibly charming, wonderfully handsome, and intelligent Kyon sama, wise leader of the SOS Brigade."

I snickered; I can't believe that she actually memorized all that.

I noticed that I got several stares from people. Oh crap, they must have heard all that and must think that I'm a pervert…

…well what's new?

We made our way to the café that we usually meet for brigade meetings.

We ordered some lunch (all paid for by Haruhi) and talked about what we were going to do next.

"What shall we do next my incredibly good looking master?" said Haruhi in a pissed off voice.

If she didn't sound so pissed off then I would be hornier than I am now. Now that I am…oh whatever it's too late I already said it. I wish I could just simply hit the backspace button and delete that last sentence. Well, at least no one is going to read it right?

"I wasn't really planning on doing anything, can't we just chill here?" I said, playing with my straw.

"What that's it? You dragged me all the way here and…" she paused, then shut her eyes and looked the other way. I couldn't see her face but she sounded…disappointed, almost.

I sighed. Whatever, I'm pretty bored right now so…

"Say Haruhi, why don't we do something, together…you know like a…"

Haruhi's eyes slowly gazed at mine but then darted back when contact was made.

"Like what?" she asked, she had an odd look on her face, one that I haven't seen from her yet.

I gulped and wiped some sweat off my brow.

"…like a date…maybe…possibly" Why am I so damn nervous?

Haruhi's eyes were so wide, they looked like flying saucers.

"Really? Do you mean it?" she cried, a look of pure joy on her face.

I was taken a back from the shock and Haruhi must have noticed my reaction because she gasped and sank back to her seat.

I was very aware of the people looking at us and snickering so I kept my voice to whisper.

"Well you know…we don't really have to…if you want" I mumbled like an idiot.

There was an awkward silence and I could see Haruhi with a new scowl on her face and I thought that I said something wrong.

"Fine…"

Eh?

"I guess I can't go against the brigade chief's orders so…only this one time…I guess we can go on a casual date."

I gawked and looked straight at her, searching for hints of sarcasm, there was none. Instead, a noticeable blush covered her cheeks.

"Yeah…casual…I muttered"

As we walked out of the restaurant, I saw something I haven't seen these past couple of days.

I saw a smile, I made god smile for exactly 4.6544 seconds…

…man I sounded like Nagato when I said that.

**Okay! I finally got enough inspiration to make this chapter. I guess the real story goes on from here, but to be honest I have no idea where the story will go from here. I know that I said from the last chapter that I had doubts if I could make more chapters for this story but that is not a problem anymore! I have a lot of ideas for this fic and I promise that I won't disappoint. As usual reviews are welcome ( actually I beg you for them!). Please look forward to the next chapter that will come out soon.**

**Cheers!**

**-MC kun**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or its characters. I only own what I am writing.**

"Ouch! Kyon it hurts! Be gentler!" yelled Haruhi Suzumiya.

"I am…just hold still!"

"Ah! Kyon what're you doing! Go faster!"

"…but you told me to…oh never mind!"

Haruhi had somehow tripped and made a gash on her knee. I was now applying medicine on the cut and putting some ban aid over it.

What did you think I was doing?

Before even our little…erm…date started, Haruhi ran full dash and tripped over a banana peel. As silly as it sounds, that's exactly how it happened.

Now we were in a hotel room and I was treating Haruhi's wound.

I swear, of all the things she makes me do…

"Kyon…um…thanks"

Eh?

"Didn't you hear me? I said thanks!" she cried clenching her fist tightly. I didn't need to be a genius to notice that she was struggling.

"W-What for exactly?" I was confused, even more confused than listening to one of Nagato's explanations.

She pointed to her knee. "You know…"

I sighed. Well at least she was actually thankful.

"You're welcome Haruhi"

She blinked. "Say what?"

"Um…you're welcome Haruhi"

"Is…that it? No snide remarks, no sarcastic comments?"

I scratched my head. "No…why would I even…"

"To be honest I thought you were going to laugh at me or something" she said, smiling weakly.

What kind of monster do you think I am Haruhi?

"You know, it's just because you're always arguing with me about everything…so I thought"

I sighed as I pet her on the head.

She gasped. "What the hell are you…"

"Haruhi, I know that we don't always agree…" We never agree. "…and it may seem that I dislike you…but…"

I froze. I can't believe I was going to say that.

"…but what Kyon?" said Haruhi, as she gave me an intense stare. Don't look at me like that!

"Nothing! Never mind…"

"Kyon as brigade leader I demand you to…" Haruhi stopped midsentence.

"Demand what humble servant?" I love this.

"…demand, that you never stop being so amazing and…good looking" She almost choked on the last part.

I laugh coyly. "Why dear Haruhi, kissing up to your leader's ass is not going to give you an advantage over the others. This is not a competition" Who am I kidding?

"I apologise Kyon sama…" muttered Haruhi. Glaring daggers at nowhere in particular.

After I finished up treating Haruhi's wound, we quickly got out of there but as we did…

"Kyon and Suzumiya? What're you guys doing here?"

…Two certain idiots showed up.

"Um…we were just" Oh crap! Taniguchi and Kunikida you have the worst timing ever.

Kunikida raised an eyebrow and eventually noticed the building Haruhi and I came out of.

"A hotel…Kyon and Suzumiya were you just…" Then a smile came over they're faces.

Taniguchi winked at me as I dragged Haruhi away.

"Idiots…" I muttered.

"Tell me about it…"

Haruhi chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing"

Then I started chuckling too.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Oh…never mind"

We couldn't hold it back anymore and started laughing like maniacs.

Haruhi wiped a tear of her eye, struggling to catch her breath.

"You look like a mess Haruhi!"

"Your one to talk, your face is all red!"

I blushed even harder. It's a good thing she doesn't know the real reason why my face is so hot.

Haruhi couldn't do much with that wound on her leg so we decided to go home. Haruhi seemed to be a little disappointed, but with her leg all messed up like that; she didn't really have a choice.

"See you later Kyon"

"Yeah…take care"

As I watched her leave, I felt a strong feeling overcome my body. This feeling, it's telling me something.

"Haruhi!"

The former brigade leader turned around.

"Yeah, what is it Kyon?"

I scratched the back of my head; I can't believe I'm doing this.

"I'll walk you home, if you'd like…"

Haruhi gasped in surprise, but whatever look that she had in her face was soon replaced by a scowl.

"What you don't think I can take care of myself? Even if a thug did assault me you wouldn't stand a chance"

I was slightly hurt and I guess Haruhi noticed it.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kyon…"

I was shocked. Haruhi Suzumiya thanked me, and then apologized to me…all in the same day? No, better yet, in the same life time?

I ended up walking her home anyways after I gave her some excuse; "I'm the brigade leader so I have to make sure my subordinates are safe" She gave up for the time being.

We didn't say much on the way there and I realised that this is the first time I get to see Haruhi's house. What would it look like? Would it be a giant bee hive? It could be Superman's fortress of solitude for all I know. I laughed; maybe her dream house is Batman's secret underground cave. I can imagine Haruhi being some caped vigilante running around with some silly costume at night. Oh, no, I shouldn't bring that up. The last thing I want is the SOS Brigade turning into some Justice League…

…well we already save the world everyday from the greatest, diabolical, super mind that ever existed.

"What are you mumbling about Kyon?" asked the greatest, diabolical, super mind that ever existed.

"Oh, nothing greatest diabolical…" I crap! I almost said it!

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing, I just said that I had a good time today"

Haruhi blushed a little but hid it. She didn't do a very good job.

"Idiot…"

I sighed. "Why am I an idiot?"

"Only an idiot could call such a bad day 'good'"

"I didn't think it was a bad day. I had fun, Haruhi"

I could feel her staring at me so I smiled a little. Hey, I can be a little nice too you know?

"Idiot"

"Haruhi I love you"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Eh?"

I winked at her. "Gotcha"

"YOU LITTLE PIECE OF…"

I dashed off, literally running for my life. Haruhi didn't have much trouble catching up to me. She pinned me down on the ground, glaring at me with wild eyes. Her cheeks were flushed with anger. Well, at least I think it's because of anger.

"Kyon! That is such a lame joke!" She exclaimed while playfully punching me. Her weight was making me choke on my uncontrollable laughter.

Suddenly I felt my smile disappear after one thought entered my head.

Was it a joke?

**This turned out to be a little shorter than I wanted it to be but I guess it's better than having a big blob of text filling up your screen. Anyways please wait for the next update. I'll try to upload it asap. As always please review! You can tell me if you want longer chapters or if you like things the way they are.**

**Cheers!**

**-MC KUN**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**Hey guys! Sorry I that I didn't update for sooo long! I guess I just got lazy. Anyways...here's chapter 6! I hope I didn't get too rusty...**

**Chapter 6**

I felt like a game protagonist.

I don't know why, but for some reason my very existence revolves around the troubles of other people in my lives. In the end, my objective would be the same: to solve other people's problems. First there was Haruhi. She's bossy, mean, and frankly quite annoying, but I know...we all know that deep inside of her is a misunderstood, innocent, child waiting for something special...someone special, a catalyst that will set her life on fire. She wants a spark in her life. She wants to be one in a million.

What about Nagato though?

This whole week that I was brigade leader, Nagato seemed more silent, more reclusive than usual. Her moods which were already so hard to read now seemed murkier than mud.

Did she have some alien disease or something?

"No I do not" was her answer.

My spidey senses are tingling...

"Are you sure Nagato?"

"Positive"

It was nine o'clock pm. Where was I? Nagato's apartment. Why was I here? I was worried about her. Am I getting anywhere? Nope. I arrived here at seven...and we're still not getting any progress.

Why must you be so mysterious Nagato? Well, I guess it's one of her many charms.

"You should go home"

Nagato's voice was so soft, like a cat's mew that it almost deteriorated before it reached my ears.

"Pardon me?"

"Get out of here"

I asked her to repeat the question, not make it harsher.

I sighed. I've been here for three hours. If Nagato was telling the truth then I should trust her. Somehow though, ever since I met Haruhi...I've been a little paranoid. Even what Nagato is telling me could be a lie.

However, even if she was lying, I can't just simply insist that she let me stay in her home. I have long over stayed my welcome.

I was halfway by the door when I turned around just to make sure that Nagato was indeed alright.

"Are you sure your okay Nagato?"

"Go...now"

I should just go...no...Wait...something was wrong. Nagato was never this harsh was she? She was blunt yes, and a little bit cruel, but she wouldn't just demand for something right? If she was normal maybe...but this was Nagato.

This was Yuki.

She must have sensed that I wasn't about to leave anytime soon because she stood up, and beckoned me to come to her room.

For the record, I am in no way getting excited. I didn't come here with dirty intentions; I simply want to check up on a classmate who has not been looking too well lately.

Well, okay, I did kind of wish _something _was going to happen.

Nagato led me to her room. It was unsurprisingly boring, but at least it was neat. It was the complete opposite of my room. My room had dirty clothes everywhere, chip bags lying around, Manga all over the place, some magazines...

No. Not _those _kinds of magazines mind you.

"Come. Sit down."

Nagato sat down on her bed and made room for me to sit down. As I sat down, I noticed that it was getting incredibly hot in here.

"Kyon...do you remember...last summer?"

Last summer...nothing special really happened...

Wait.

Nagato...are you saying...

Last summer could only mean, that memorable...that _painfully_ memorable endless summer. Haruhi never wanted her vacation to end. The only way to break her haunting spell was to do our summer homework.

"Nagato you can't mean that..."

Nagato nodded, her short silver hair bouncing up and down like she did so.

"This week is the 14, 214th time that you won the cross dressing contest, and took the title of Brigade Chief"

I remember when I was a kid, I accidently wet myself whenever I watch a horror movie, even when it sucked, and I'd always pee myself.

Fortunately, I'm older now.

Unfortunately...I almost crapped myself.

"What the...how did this..."

I was speechless.

"In 13, 987, we had a cross dressing contest. In all 14, 214 iterations, you had won the title of Brigade chief. In 2, 676..."

"No Nagato...no more..."

I rubbed my forehead. I had been sweating profusely and I didn't even notice.

I looked at Nagato. She looked calm and collected. No...There was a hint of sadness in her doll like face. She was lonely...Nagato looked like Haruhi before she started the SOS Brigade. Nagato was bored. An endless loop of time...again...for a second time.

Poor Nagato...how much are you hurting? How much are you suffering?

I looked at her blank face. If she wanted to cry, smile, or just freak out...she couldn't. Damn it, why don't you just cry Nagato? Why won't you just yell, and scream and say that life is totally unfair, that life is a bitch?

Haruhi...why would you do this to us?

Wait a second...how come I didn't notice the change, how come I didn't sense that we have been living the same week 14, 214 times? Wasn't there a feeling of Déjà vu? Wasn't my instinct screaming at me, yanking my chain over the edge of insanity?

"Nagato...what's going on?"

"I told you. We have been repeating this week..."

"No Nagato!" Oh crap...I didn't mean to raise my voice. "...whose fault is this, Haruhi's? Or is it some unknown enemy you haven't told me about?"

Nagato looked at me with tired and weary eyes. They looked like the eyes of a stoic, a nun.

With one finger, the SOS Brigade's resident alien laid down the hammer of judgement.

It pointed towards...

"It is you. It is your fault..."

Me...

...wait, me?

"Nagato, what is the meaning of this?"

This time, I didn't care if I raised my voice or not. It seemed like somehow, this was all Nagato's fault. No...This isn't Nagato; it's some evil clone that the radical counter part of the Data Over mind sent to destroy me, the only one who can influence Haruhi's arcane powers.

Damn it...that can't be right. Ugh..I can't get my thoughts straight.

Me...My fault...14, 241 times...

...that's what Nagato said right?

"Why...how is this my fault?" I said, my voice sounded choked up, and raspy. I desperately wanted water.

"You never wanted this week to end...the week you became Brigade Leader..."

How did I...I thought Haruhi was the only one who could...I'm just a regular kid right?

"...and you never wanted it to end. The week you fell in love..."

**Okay, after like two months, I snapped out of my laziness...I hope this new instalment didn't turn out too horribly wrong? Anyways, please review, I need your opinions too make sure that I'm in the right track!**

**Cheers!**

**MC Kun**


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